Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dignity is for republicans.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize