If that was your dad, he is hot
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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