wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize