I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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