yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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