At least make sure they are 18
Why
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she looked like the before picture.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
