You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We left an ass print on the piano.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
