she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
