i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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