check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
