i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
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