Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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