So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
