He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
