Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize