She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
