Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
