your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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