Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
