The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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