thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
