Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize