So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
