i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Randomize
