It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
