In America we eat man semen.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
