Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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