At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
