I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
