No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
