hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
