the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
