Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
