Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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