that's an acceptable place to lick
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize