final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize