Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
