FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
