if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
