i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
