I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
