Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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