His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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