Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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