Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
