when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
