im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
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