okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
