i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
where are you?
Hypothermia
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
