make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she peed on how many people?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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