i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
