I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
