what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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