He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
