you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
