She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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