Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
