didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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