Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
