I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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