I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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