U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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