I just pynch a tree in the face
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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