i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
